Slipping below the Surface: Depression Recovery

In 2009 I slipped below the surface of  the waters and fell head long into a deep depression. I have spent my whole life treading the waters to keep myself above, and that year, the choppy waters of winter were too much to handle on top of the stresses of that particular summer which I hadnt fully regained myself from. I hadnt let myself slip that far below the surface since I was in grade six (where I missed 3 months total of the school year, but had grades awesome enough to have admin let that slide). I made a lot of decisions to help pull me out of the dark, leaving University and moving to Ottawa where I barely know anyone, being the biggest. I stayed with an amazing couple and their young son, who were an inspiration, though I am sure I have never truly expressed my gratitude to them enough.

At the darkest deeps I lost the ability to concentrate, it started at first with Academic texts, but progressed to most non-fiction books. My mainstay of reading is non-fiction. I have recovered in a lot of aspects of my life but I still have a lot of difficulty staying focused on my books. I went from being able to read a 200 page book in two days, to barely being able to finish a chapter. Currently I struggle to stay focused through each page and get easily distracted so my home is littered with half read books. It frustrates me, because I remember how it used to be and I just want to go back to being able to bury myself in the words, and worlds the author is sharing, but I loose myself in a hundred other things.

I am not considering seeking help. I havent gone to counselling, and stopped taking depression medication when I reached the head above surface state that I have always considered normal. Apparently most people have boats, but you know, that isnt really something I have experienced. I have come across a few lectures and discussions of ADHD lately and it pretty much is describing me. My brother has ADHD was diagnosed when he was in Grade 2 or 3. My mother always said she thought I had it too, but coped better so slipped under the school diagnosis radar. So now I am wondering if my period below the dark, unleashed a bit of the Beast I had been keeping in check down there. So how do I go about seeking help, what is the next step?

I just want to be able to read again, focus on a project, finish something I have started. Follow through on what I know I am capable of. It isnt too much to ask, but it does mean I may need to find a different way of doing it.